Weighing In

Perhaps you have heard the story of a little girl who was showing her friends around her house, and when she got to the bathroom, she stopped and looked at the bathroom scale, pointing, she said, I do not know what that thing is, but my mum and dad stand on it everyday, and it always makes them really mad.

If you are like me, there have been times when you have shifted on the scale and tried to get it to tell you something that it did not want to tell you.  It is a bit comical that we want a scale, a thing outside of us, to tell us who we are, so we can feel better about who we are inside.  Then, when the scale does not tell us what we want to be told, we get frustrated, even  harbouring negative feelings toward ourselves.

Life does not weigh up for us the way we would like it to do.  When we are afraid or anxious that things are not going the way we think they ought to go; when we are unable to pacify our own internal anxieties, and worries, as with a bathroom scale, we might nudge the people around us back and forth, pushing one person this way, and another that way, until they can be what we need them to be, and we can feel better about ourselves.

The truth is, when life is not weighing up as we like it to do, there is a temptation to coax other people into telling us what we need to hear, so we will be OK with ourselves and the world.

Lets say, Ian tells me that I am good at my job then I feel good about my job.  If Margaret says that my cakes are the best, then I feel super about my culinary prowess.  Ian and Margaret have become the scales by which by which my life is valued and measured.  All the time, the value of my life is already inside me, just like my bodily weight is inside me.

However, our lives do get more complicated than trying to elicit simple compliments.  Sometimes, at work, at home, or with friends, we feel we are being pressured by others, and asked to change.  Sometimes our life situations become so uncomfortable that there seems to be no solution other than to ask others to change there ways.

By way of example, a student is performing poorly in school; as a consequence, the student’s marks reflect a poor performance.  The parents of the student, unhappy with the thought of having a child with poor marks, try to convince school officials to give their child a higher mark, even thought the student has already been accurately marked.

Of course, when we feel uncomfortable inside, this could be a signal that we are in the wrong place, with the wrong people, doing the wrong sorts of things.  All of these sorts of feelings suggest that it is us who need to make adjustments if we wish to be right with the world.  Our internal feelings are, after all, our feelings, and they have to do with how we are valuing ourselves and the world around us.

If our lives become defined by things that are outside of us, what I do not have, or what I need from others, then we have forfeited our lives in the process of gaining them.  Because what brings my life value is possessed by others, over whom I have not control, then my life is not longer mine.  Yet this is precisely what the Scriptures warn us about.

If we wish to be true to the teachings of Jesus, we are invited to discover the diving power within; this is found in relationship with God who is Mystery.  At baptism we are given to God, as God’s children.  At our baptism, we are asking that God’s Divine and Holy Spirit fill our entire lives, and to be our substance and guide on our journey through life.  While the baptism is a moment in time, the reality of the baptism is timeless, it is a lifetime of journey.  Yet, without faith, belief in the providence of the indwelling God, the only alternative is to find my value in the lives and situations around me.  To weigh up my value according to the latest cultural scales.

Peter, who in the New Testament Gospel accounts appears as both a symbol of strength and a man of great weakness; he is a good symbol for all faithful people.  At times we are very strong and persevere in our resolve to live as people filled with God’s Spirit, and other times we loose hope and begin to live as if our lives are possessed by those around us.  We find him, in the midst of his own insecurities, questing Jesus’ motivation and his own ability.  When he doubts, he falls. Here you might refer to Matthew 16:21-ff; also Matthew 14:28-33.

Like Peter, Jesus is also a model for all people.  In the Gospel, Jesus speaks openly.  He is in a relationship with the whole world.  He is speaking about his own journey, and the difficulties he will face along the way (again see Matthew 16:21).  Jesus does not find his life’s value in the way others will treat him, but his value comes directly from his relationship with his Father.

As we reflect about who we are, and how it is that the Holy Spirit dwells within us, let us also reflect upon the following quotes: “If we plan on being less than we are capable of being in life, then we have set ourselves up to be unhappy for the duration.” (Abraham Harold Maslow, RIP 1970)…and…”So, when we approach life, lets not lower the bar because we are human, but rise to the occasion and elevate ourselves to the fullness of our humanity.” (Laura Catherine Schlessinger, born 1947).  May your weight always be measured in holiness, and your journey be guided by the Holy Spirit at the centre of all life.