Tuesday 7 June 2011

Kindness can be contagious


As we go through our lives, we may be mindful of all that there is to be grateful for; I am reminded of how conversations, shared from the heart, offered in love, are salve to our souls, and how they free us to be more authentically ourselves.
Many years ago, I had the privilege of sitting with a man, confined to a bed, as he neared death.  He suffered from a terminal form of cancer and the doctor expected him to go any day.  I had known the man for some time, and while we were many years acquainted, we had not been close friends.  I must admit, I had harboured some resentment toward this man at an earlier stage in my life, but in this moment, I felt good about myself for sitting with him in his hour of need.
Something unexpected happened on those days I did sit with him - we began talking.  He shared with me a bit about his past life, and he asked me if there were any ways he had ever offended me.  I told him I did recall a time when he had said some hurtful and sarcastic things to me.  He genuinely apologized, and then proceeded to tell me how he had become such a sarcastic and angry man.  I remember leaving his room and feeling as though this dying man had ministered to me.  I had gone into the room to be with him and offer my support, and I had come away healed of a wound.
More recently, I attended a birthday celebration at a local pub; it truly was a celebration.  There were people there of all ages, who were listening to musicians sharing their talents in strings and voice, and who were instinctively prompted to break into singing.  It was as if each person there was offering something of himself.  I did not know many people there, but I felt as if I were standing among old friends.
Similarly, I recall attending the coffee morning that took place at my local town hall in early September.  It was well attended and very well organized.  However, what created such a buzz that morning, aside from the tea, coffee, biscuits and raffle, was the conversation.  Everyone there was engaged in conversation with others, sharing smiles and stories.
As I parted from the people at the pub and also the people at the coffee morning, I was filled with gratitude.  Something had been given to me, and the irony was that I had gone in order to give something to someone else.
Perhaps, you have had such a situation, where you go some place to offer your support and talents, but when you come away you feel as if the tables have been reversed.  The people you were on a mission to help have, in their own covert way, helped you instead.  It almost doesn’t seem fair - you only hope that the support you offered was as helpful as the kindness you took away.
I can imagine God sending a messenger to me to say, ‘you thought that you were going to save the day, but really I sent you to be saved, so go, and do the same again.’  What a lovely thought, every time we offer of ourselves to others we also feel offered to.
Being with others, offering them support, celebrating with them, joining together in a common task, invites us to a new world, where there are not problems to be addressed, but only opportunities to grow.
Such opportunities open our eyes to see kindnesses at work all about us, like little stars sparkling.  Where once there might have been only an obligation, now we see a chance to exchange kindnesses.  And, no one can truly experience kindness without being changed.  In fact, it can be argued that a person who has not been altered by another person’s kindness, never really experienced the kindness that had been offered.
So, as you set out to save the world or just tidy it a bit, do not forget to keep your eyes, ears and heart open to the kindnesses that are all around you, and let your life be transformed.

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