Respect yourself before you Spin out of Control

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.  "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:13-16

³³"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' ³⁴But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; ³⁵or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. ³⁶And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. ³⁷Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:33-37

The picture you get from the press, no matter which country you visit, is one of politicians being self-serving at best, and dishonest cheats at worst.  The picture painted by the press is more about creating a perception than presenting the public with an honest representation of the person.

Creating a perception to persuade others is not reserved for the press and politicians.  In so many ways, it has become common among the general population to buy into or to take part in creating favourable and unfavourable perceptions… to pass judgement.  Even our entertainment on television and the radio attempt to form general opinion by projecting people or ideas in a selective and biased way.

But more subtle and potentially dangerous to our daily experience is the relatively common desire to participate in the world of “spin.”  Spin happens when the desire to control how people view us, or our projects or goals, overrides the desire to speak plainly and honestly. Spin is that behaviour that draws public attention away from the real issues by offering a more convincing – but less authentic – perception that may be construed as the Truth.

Reflecting upon the world of spin and how it finds a place within our lives has led me to think about how we live honest lives.  Generally, no one begins the day thinking, “how can I tell a lie today?”  But many of us have thought about, how will I be perceived in this situation?  Many of us have thought about what we say in order to affect how others will think about us.  And many of us have, at least at times, considered that how others perceive us is more important than what we actually say.  Unfortunately, trying to control how others perceive us often leads us away from sharing who we truly are.

Put another way, God has created us to be ourselves, and nobody else, and the Truth of who I am is not dependent upon how someone else perceives me.  When we invest energy into altering others’ views, we misrepresent ourselves and end up sacrificing our very identity.  It is a self-destructive behaviour, and the more it is practiced, the more we spin out of control, and less of ourselves we will have to offer to others.  Matthew’s gospel invites us to live our lives authentically, sharing our gifts and our identities openly.  This is what Jesus meant when he urged us to say “'Yes' if you mean yes, 'No' if you mean no" (cf. Matthew 5:33-37).  Only a consistent honesty with ourselves and others can make us truly sincere.  Only Truth is the proper foundation for any healthy relationship.

When we live a life committed to Truth we begin to remove the masks of spin that hide our true identities.  Only then are we able to reclaim who we really are.  Reclaiming our true identities we attain a simplicity which has less and less need for untruth.

Saying Yes when you mean yes, and No when you mean no, means making an ongoing commitment to letting go of the need to control another’s thoughts and perception; it means committing to living honestly and expressing yourself with straight talk.  Honesty requires that we consider our words before we speak them, always seeking to use our words as vehicles of the Truth.  This is the “how” in being our true selves.

Following this line of reasoning, let’s remember Jesus’ words earlier in Chapter 5 of Matthew where he calls us the “salt of the world.”  As salt flavours the food we eat, so do we (and our gifts) flavour the world we live in.  More, our gifts flavour our relationships and season our lives; our gifts are the vehicle by which we express ourselves in life.  To authentically flavour the world means that we share ourselves openly and we offer our gifts in honesty.

So, the next time you are tempted to put a bit of spin in your words to ensure others see you the way you want them to see you, think again.  Instead, pause, and then ask yourself, who am I and what are the gifts I have to offer to this world?  Then taking account of the identity that God has given to you, offer yourself to others as you are, and see what happens.  You will likely be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.  You will feel better, and the people to whom you are speaking will be more respectful of you as you show more respect to yourself.